what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize