i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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