I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
