Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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