when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
