i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
