did you get engaged???
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
