when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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