i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
