you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
