Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
