Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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