I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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