So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
