Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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