what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
