Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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