Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
