Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
