Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
