i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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