I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
