Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
