You're so nebulous sometimes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
