I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize