So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
