Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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