I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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