I just threw up on my dentist
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize