I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize