On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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