Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
