Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
