You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
