i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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