Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You can't just leave with hair like that
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
