Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
