Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
