We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
