school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
