those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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