You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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