I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
