I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
