He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
