she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
