so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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