just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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