dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
