You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
