I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
