I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
