dude i'm inner monologue high
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize