a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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