So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
