for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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