He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
