He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
