as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
