How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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