There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
