i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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