Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
