Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i believe in u and ur pee
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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