THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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