Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
