You work out of a Hotel?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
