In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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