she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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