I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
babies were throwing up all over the place
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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