he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
